So, after a grueling morning in a new pair of Payless ShoeSource heels, I stopped by Walgreen’s to pick up some much needed Blister Block tape thing by Dr. Scholl’s and a measuring tape for my t’n’a. Whenever I’m in a drugstore, I like to check out the magazine rack, because I’m a total glossy addict. I look for fashion mags (Lucky is a favorite), art mags, and Scientific American and then peruse the men’s magazines (in an effort to “leave one around” so Conor will find/enjoy it).
Upon gazing through the sea of slicked and slacked that is the men’s magazine section, I came upon a very haughty-looking fellow gracing the cover of a magazine I’d never heard of: Complex.
Be still my homicidal heart as I come across the top left headline (where the eye naturally begins to read – editors know this):
Excuse me, Mom, for what I’m about to say but… WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
Are you kidding me with this crap? “How to cheat on your girlfriend (& get away with it)”? Is this truly something that men see and are instantly grabby-hands-at?
So, immediately, I drop the piece of shit waste of gloss and head out of the store (purchasing products first, of course – I ain’t no heathen) and head back here to research this magazine.
Turns out Complex claims to be “The first buyer’s guide for men”. So, am I to understand this extremely misogynistic headline to be applying only to hookers and blow? I mean, excuse my ignorance, but what the hell does any of that have to do with acquisition of anything other than a black eye and/or herpes?
So, I’m searching and searching for this magazine’s masthead on their ever so easy-to-navigate website of all things original when it comes to men’s magazines (read: as generic as the people who read it), and I find a teeny-tiny “About Us” section at the bottom. Click.
COMPLEX MEDIA NETWORK is the premier online destination for the most influential 20-something male consumers. This discerning audience is driven by style, sports, music, games, gear and girls. The Complex Media Network reaches these style-makers and trend-spreaders through its uniquely credible and authentic viewpoint into all things Complex.
Okay, first of all, the phrase “trend spreaders” just puts the most graphic, disgusting images through my head. Secondly, this is supposed to be appealing to “influential 20-something male consumers”? Influential… to inmates? Influential… to… Chris Brown? I mean, seriously. When was the last time you picked up a Vogue and saw something like “How to screw over your relationship – and come away grinning!” or “Get double-dipped, and he’ll never know”? Or even less likely, “How to play your man like a fiddle, and keep him tuned in!” Of course you don’t. Those magazines would be deemed “for whores” or “slut-laden” because, well, women don’t think that way for one (well, respectable women don’t) and the media would have a GRAND OL’ FIESTA with it, just like every other time women are caught cheating.
Talk about a double-effing-standard. As Li’l Kim so eloquenty puts it:
if you look back in history
its a common double standared of society
they guy gets all the glory the more he can score
while the girl can do the same but yet you call her a whore
i dont understand why its okay
the guy can get away with it, the girl gets named
all my ladies come together and make a change
and start a new beginning for us, everybody sing!
They also tout themselves as “the proven voice of the people that matter – the insider’s Bible.” The voice of the people that matter? Anyone who needs to know how to fuck other women while “maintaining” a relationship, and much less finds it out while reading a $5 magazine is certainly not someone I’d consider to be an “insider”, “influential” or “people that matter”. Also, “Bible” certainly is an ironic choice of words, don’t you think?
Perhaps the most disappointing aspect of it all? It’s affiliated with Marc Ecko Enterprises (in fact, it’s called “Marc Ecko’s Complex.com” – rather telling, I’d say). It’s not like I used to have utmost respect, or even fancied this brand in the least, but knowing that a semi-respected member of the apparel industry is behind this pile of misogynistic shit is less than pleasing.
Mmm, what a dreamboat. I hope all my Ecko-wearing boyfriends look like ex-cons.
I’m not trying to get all Bikini Kill or angry man-hater here, but seriously? I pity any girl who finds this Complex magazine sitting around her boyfriend/husband’s house, any dude who reads this pile of crap is well below the level of worth that any woman deserves.
End non-site-related rant.