The Broke-Ass Babes in: Mobili-tea

Summer is the only season where it’s actually fun to be broke. Your friends always want to come out to play. The sun is hot, the music is loud, and the drinks are cold… It’s a season that’s ripe for adventure, and anything is possible. Memories are made, captured, and immortalized. Stories are created, enhanced, embellished, and memorized. JCPenney handed us a Summer Assignment to create the best summer tea party possible in Seattle. They challenged us to grab our girlfriends, grab some dresses, and create a whole new story from a frock and a teacup.

Of course we took the challenge.

The Players


Behind the pretty city girl lies a rugged, country babe. Aubrey would rather play sports than go to some stuffy event, and prefers a relaxed night with friends over hob-nobbing at some gaudy city hot spots. (Though she can’t resist a pomegranate martini, either.) Aubrey looks stunning in heels, bad-ass in boots, and can probably kick your butt in either. It took Aubrey some time to find a dress, but this one fits her perfectly, conveying her down home country side for only $32.


Cass rides bikes, sails boats, gets tattoos, and loves bright pink dresses. (But maybe not while on the boat.) She also bakes, grows her own produce and throws wicked parties on the weekend. Pretty much everyone wants to be Cass.

Cass bought her dress in-store for less than $20, and picked up a bright yellow bikini to match. Since this shoot, she has worn it to at least one of her house parties.


Jackie is ridiculous. She can make anyone laugh, at any time, even at a funeral. A bit of a radical, she can always be counted on to stand up for what she believes in, even if it’s unpopular, causes a huge debate or even gets her canned from a job. Girl’s got ethics, and fantastic style to boot.

Jackie bought her dress and her boots at JCPenney. The empire waist has the perfect amount of give…to hide her baby bump!


Jennifer is the future-forward anachronism of the group (as if there could ever be two). The vintage-loving babe dreams of riding in old cars and wearing old clothes, with the top down and big black sunglasses sitting just over ruby-red lips. Since this is 2011, she settles for black suede pumps and op shopping…when she’s not on one of her late-night rainforest hikes or fighting the war on ethical apathy. She bought her dress in-store (with Cass, in fact), on sale for less than thirty dollars, and plans on wearing it through fall and winter, with tights and cardigans to stay warm.


Lindsay probably has a lion’s mane of hair because she’s related to one. The original Broke-Ass Babe is a fierce photographer, loyal to a fault, and hunts down her desires without a hint of fear. When she’s not encumbered by a camera or her laptop, Lindsay is out with friends and family (probably shopping) or cooking up something delicious in her early 1900s-styled kitchen.

Lindsay ordered her dress online for $40. Its pretty, feminine cut and textured white fabric call just enough attention without overshadowing her bright blue eyes or lion’s mane of hair.

The ignition of the tea party took place in Georgetown, one of the oldest neighborhoods in Seattle. What better place for five broke-ass babes to start their shenanigans than where Seattle began? Our hometown pride knows no bounds. 

“Is this legal?” “…well…” “As long as authorities don’t see you.”

Bystanders looked at us as if a parade of five was rolling through town. In a neighborhood that’s primarily grey, brown, and the color of rust, five brilliantly dressed ladies can cause a bit of a stir, it seems.

“These people act like they’ve never seen a mobile tea party before.”

“Or dresses.”

“Or girls.”

We left Georgetown before the party got stale, snacked on home-made muffins, and wound up in the warm sand at Alki Beach.

Barefoot, relaxed… and a little clumsy.

Self defense lesson of the day: teacups are great projectiles.

Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. –Henry Fielding, “Love in Several Masques”

Dresses, teacups, and some cosmetics provided by JCPenney.

Probably watching Netflix.

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