Normally, light denim doesn’t really do it for me. But when the sun is out, and being lazy on a beach somewhere is all that’s on the agenda – I feel like light, faded, and/or distressed denim is only appropriate.
The only problem is my lifelong, violent, adversarial relationship with all of those things.
I guess my issue with light denim comes from the early 2000s. The mere sight of light denim flares makes me shudder. Add athletic shoes or sneakers and you have discovered the only way to make light jeans worse. Outside of flared-leg-ville, I don’t mind them… that much. They look great when they’re distressed, and the right cut on a light denim skinny jean is something to be praised. But finding those things can sometimes be harder (and more expensive) than it seems.
Distressed denim… It gets out of control. Before you know it, you’re paying out the ass for a pair of jeans that’s more hole than jean, and on top of that, I gotta let loose some facts, ladies: no one wants to see your pockets through the gaping holes in your jeans. It’s not a good look on anyone except Pamela Anderson who should probably just wear them, exclusively. (DId you see her most recent photoshoot from Vogue? That chick is 45 years old! WERK. Oh, but it’s definitely NSFWork. It’s totally SFWerk.)
Faded denim is okay. But just okay. The fading has to be in the right spot or everything goes wrong. You know what I’m talking about…. Bleach-ass. White thights. Crotch-whiskers.
So, here’s the interesting part: I’ve noticed that pretty much every single one of the opinions I just expressed becomes null & void if there is a beach involved.
(With the exception of crotch whiskers.)
If there’s a beach, wear that shit. Wear it because it all looks good there, I can’t deny it and I won’t try.
Left to right:
1. Joe’s Jeans Easy Fit Crop Jean, $63.49
Not too much distress, and by “crop jean,” I’m pretty sure they mean “ankle length.”
2. Diesel Flairlegg Jeans, $70.67
These are begging for platforms.
3. Blank Denim Distressed Straight Leg Jeans, $29.40
Even more casual, even more comfy-looking.
4. Levi’s Demi Curve Skinny Jeans, $55.15
For those who don’t care for the distressed look, these have a cool tint and a great shape.
5. Levi’s Shredded Boyfriend Fit Jeans, $47.99
…and then a pair for people who like a lot of distressing.