In the off-chance you’re like me, you’ll want to go ahead and add this band’s music directly to your “Strutting Music” playlist, and maybe even throw it on the “Pre-Funk” playlist, if that’s still a cool phrase that people use.

The Asteroids Galaxy Tour is a band from Denmark that has shaken up vintage pop culture with electronic-synth mayhem and produced their own brand of bizarrely addictive, high-energy tunes. It’s the music that will never not be perfect for shaking it like Beyoncé when you’re alone in your pajamas.

“As their name might imply, THE ASTEROIDS GALAXY TOUR are somehow less of a band than they are a many-legged, ever-evolving, constantly moving party machine.”

Their tunes have been picked up by companies like Apple and Heineken (hey, man, sometimes a dollar is a dollar) and they recently had a song on Suits, but they’ve yet to get the kind of exposure that will allow them to tour near me so I can see them live. That’s a big problem for me because I really, really want to see this in the flesh:

Tunesday: The Asteroids Galaxy Tour

a) What a babe.
b) I love bands with thousands of people in them.
c) I extra-love a woman who isn’t afraid of a little back-combing now and again or every day.
d) Glamsquad. I want a group of attractive friends specifically so we can stand like this when we go out.

This is all on top of the fact that I spent half of my weekend listening to their two albums over and over until my chair-dancing got the best of me and I had to rest.

As you can see, the inspiration they draw from times past extends to their physical and musical presentation. They are retro to the core. Citing things like “Dynasty re-runs” and “Blaxploitation films” as inspirations keeps their roots firmly vintage, but the arrangements of each piece (not to mention the beats’n’bass offerings) is perfect for today. Retro pop, remixed in a washing machine with some big rocks.

Their 2008 album, Fruit, is the first album that I heard. “Lady Jesus” played in my local Yeti Yogurt (This is the Pacific Northwest, we don’t have a lot of things to say about ourselves other than “excuse me, can we share that outlet” and “Sasquatch,” ok?), and I quickly grabbed my phone to Google the lyrics with hopes that I’d find the magnificent beasts behind it.

The Asteroids Galaxy Tour – Lady Jesus

Unbelievable strutting music, right? As a connoisseur of such strut-related fodder, I have to say that this is pretty much made for feeling like you’re better than everyone else while in public. Smug it up! This is why the Good Lord made headphones – so your internal soundtrack is easier to hear and hopefully more entertaining to watch.

Another track I fell in love with off of Fruit: The Golden Age. Of course, I was late to the party again, because this song had already been commercially marketed to the world when I wasn’t looking.

The Asteroids Galaxy Tour – The Golden Age

A+ for style, A+ for the swank-factor, A+ for sequin dress with peaked shoulders. I mean, really. Oh, and A+ for the guy handing an eyeball to the other guy with an eye patch. I hope I can throw parties that good someday.

I had no idea that the song had been featured in a Heineken ad but, apparently, I was about three years late to the party. Again. Welp, sorry not sorry, I listened to this song at least 15 times yesterday and am neither sick of it nor interested in drinking Heineken. That’s the sign of a good song, no matter how you spin it.

Tunesday: The Asteroids Galaxy Tour

They’ve since released Out of Frequency in 2012, which of course has another dollop of great songs on it. It’s definitely a little more grown-up than the Wild Party Monster Fruit was, but it still has the epic melodies and heart-matching beats that are unique to The Asteroids Galaxy Tour’s sound.

The Asteroids Galaxy Tour – Major

I don’t know about you, but I’m inspired to pair up my peach tights with my peach polka-dot leotard next time I want to go hang out in an empty ballroom. I’m also thinking of amending the How To Wear: Sequin Leggings post to include “…with all of the other sequins.

You will like this if you like:

    • Dynasty
    • Santigold
    • Watching “Laugh In” on fast-forward
    • Songs that have been in Apple commercials
    • Strutting
    • Leotards
    • Chair dancing

 Resources

The Asteroids Galaxy Tour, "Fruit"

The Asteroids Galaxy Tour, “Fruit”
Buy on Amazon | Buy on iTunes

The Asteroids Galaxy Tour "Out of Frequency" album

The Asteroids Galaxy Tour, “Out of Frequency”

Find them online!

The Asteroids Galaxy Tour on Spotify

The Asteroids Galaxy Tour on Rdio

The Asteroids Galaxy Tour Website

The Asteroids Galaxy Tour on Facebook

The Asteroids Galaxy Tour on YouTube


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Probably watching Netflix.