I imagine it’s pretty hard to sell socks to the shopping generation. Socks aren’t the most glamorous of accessories already, and we live in a world full of such wonders as Costco bulk underwear. Most socks that are worn came out of a bag of anywhere between 4 and 256 pairs. What’s a humble sock farmer to do?

Creativity is clearly a necessity to sell socks, and I’m definitely not one to pass judgement on someone else’s creative endeavor… but as a sock lover and definite sock purchaser, I have to ask:

What the hell is this?

Aerie Over The Knee Socks

I found this completely bizarre scene when lustfully chasing after the socks in the photo, Aerie’s Over The Knee Socks, which are currently marked down from $12.95 to $7.77.

Now how the hell would anyone find themselves in this situation? Sitting in some kind of nightgown with a scarf and a gigantic, white, furry blanket on a frost-covered dock…? Not to mention the fact that these socks I long for are being worn in the maybe-snow with freakin’ sandals? What exactly happened to this clean-looking but poorly-dressed white girl? Are these her new legs? Is she related to Ariel?

Nevertheless, the socks are top notch. Here’s a photo of these OTK socks that won’t distract you with mind-numbingly senseless imagery.

Aerie Maroon OTK Socks

Socks are my jam. I love to collect them, wear them on cold nights, stuff them into the stockings of my friends & family (seriously, socks are a cheap & easy & instantly useful gift). These are nice and long, very stretchy, and utterly cozy. Best of all, they come in three different color combos, and none of them suck.

Considering I paid between $12 and $15 for my other pairs of OTK socks, getting a pair for under $8 makes me happy. I am a big fan of keeping them a little bit loose and wearing them with boots. They’re also excellent for days when you spend 24 hours in the same pair of leggings. Or, if you were on your way home from taking everything you own to the dry cleaners and got an itch to go clam digging but all you had was a horse blanket from a nearby barn and a pair of your mom’s old hippie sandals… Aerie recommends you consider these socks, as well.

Aerie OTK Socks, $12.95 $7.77

Probably watching Netflix.