(A)DD: Glorious Portrait Tankini of My Dreams

It’s late February, so all anyone can think about is stripping down and grabbing and ice cold beverage to sit outside with while surrounded by the natural elements.

No? You’re in the northern hemisphere, too? Oh, so you know that the entire middle of the continental USA is about to get absolutely decimated by snow. What do you mean this isn’t the best time to talk about swimwear?

I wouldn’t dare make you think of taking of your three sweaters unless it was a complete emergency. That’s definitely a reckless use of the word “emergency,” so we’ll call this a Code: Rainbow, meaning there’s a gorgeous item available that would definitely suck to wear right now but is only available for a limited time, so put your decision hats on because I’m about to introduce you to the most perfect tankini swimsuit I’ve maybe ever seen.

Also, in an ironic twist, this Code: Rainbow is completely color-free.

Marshalls Portrait Tankini Swimsuit

For a black and white suit, this is definitely in my top five favorite swimsuits I’ve ever seen, and my top two tankinis, and there are only five tankinis on that list of thousands that I’d even consider wearing. This is definitely one of them.

That lady portrait is stunning, and it looks so familiar to me but no matter how I rack my Art History brain and its backup brain, Google Reverse Image Search, I can’t figure out where it’s from. Then I kind of noticed that she maybe has Rihanna-esque hand tattoos…? I mean, I can’t figure out what else that would be, and that definitely would not have flown for a lady in Edwardian times, so I’m guessing this is a modernized original.

Marshalls Portrait Tankini Swimsuit

How could a suit like this survive for less than $25 while looking so unbelievably fierce? The answer is Marshalls. It’s buried at Marshalls. Well, it’s probably not buried, since they have all of the excellent new arrivals set up at the front of the women’s section (see my extensive relationship with Marshalls store layouts here) but the reason it’s not all over every celebrity Instagram account is because it is a dubloon in the treasure chest that is Marshalls.

Antique Portrait Tankini Swimsuit, $24.99 at Marshalls

If you don’t have a “Home Marshalls Store,” find the Marshalls closest to you here!

  • Addie

    very interesting, Ive never seen anything like this and I really like the goth-esque feel to it…. I think those are lace gloves on her hands though so those probably are more fitting for the times and may help your search?