Dedicated: How to Buy the Perfect Engagement Ring without Her Knowing

For many men, trying to find the perfect engagement ring can be a stressful ordeal. Expectations can be high when the element of surprise and romance combine, in fact it is likely there will never be another occasion where getting things exactly right is so crucial.

There are a number of strategies that can make your search smoother and help put you at ease. Your beloved will be both surprised and delighted when she receives your proposal along with well-chosen, dazzling diamond ring.


To find the perfect engagement ring it is essential to understand your lady’s tastes and style. Taking note of her clothes, shoes, jewellery, and accessories will help you figure out what kind of ring would best suit her.

Look at her existing jewellery and try to see if there is a particular pattern. If there anything made of gold, what colour or shade is it? Gold can be white, rose, or yellow in tone and each shade looks very different. Are there stones, patterns, or intricate designs on her other pieces of jewellery? If she has rings do they look ornate and complicated, thin and dainty, classic, artsy or modern?

Would you say your girl likes bling, glitz, and glamour or is she more refined and elegant? Is she a traditionalist or a very modern woman that is into new trends? Does she like geometry or flow, squares or curves, sharp edges or soft lines?


Learning a little about diamonds and varying settings and styles from a store like will definitely help you choose a fantastic ring for a very reasonable price.

Diamond pricing depends on something known as ‘The Four C’s’ which correspond to CUT, COLOUR, CLARITY, and CARAT.

CUT – Cut is the way the raw diamond is cut, shaped, and ground into a particular form. The cut creates facets or surfaces that let light into the diamond and allows it to sparkle and glisten. Round Brilliant and Princess are the two most well-known cuts.

COLOUR – The colour of a diamond changes its value. Various minerals impact the formation of diamonds and can leave them with a yellowish tint. The most expensive diamonds are clear and cheaper diamonds are slightly yellow or brownish. Hues of pink, blue, or green can make a diamond even more expensive as some tints are rare and more attractive than others.

CLARITY – Diamonds without flaws or inclusions of tiny flecks are more valuable. Some anomalies can only be seen at great magnification and not with the naked eye. Purists will want a pristine diamond without inclusions but great savings can be made on diamonds with tiny flaws undetectable under normal conditions.

CARAT – Carats refer to the measurements used to determine the weight of the diamond. The larger the weight or carat, the more expensive the diamond will be.


It is better to buy from someone skilled in handcrafting an original piece rather than from a retail store in your average shopping centre or high street. An artisan who can construct a ring from scratch will provide something more unique than a mass produced ring purchased at a big department store.

Buying diamonds from a dealer or wholesaler will net huge savings and a great jeweller will know how to create a style and setting to compliment the stones you want added to the ring (check here for more information). Take along some photos of your lady and her jewellery and your jeweller should be able to help you discover the perfect match and then craft it for you.


  • Visit a jewellery or craft fair where you have an excuse to have her try on a number of rings and take note of the style she likes and particularly the size.
  • Tie a piece of string around her ring finger while she sleeps to find out the right size.
  • Get your lady to help you with a messy chore and while she takes of her rings, try slipping one on your own finger to help gauge the size.
  • Ask one of her trusted girlfriends to steer the conversation towards rings to find out what your girl does and doesn’t like.
  • Borrow an unused ring from her jewellery box and have your jeweller size it for you. Just be sure it is a ring you’ve seen her wearing that actually fits her well.

Finding the perfect engagement ring needn’t be a difficult task if you pay attention and take some time to research your options. There is no need to rush something that will last a lifetime and being thorough will help ensure you find the right ring that brings great pleasure and joy for many years to come.

Photo by Bryan Thayer