Six hundred years ago, when I was in my early 20s, I was glued (literally) to acrylic nails. If you’ve ever had them, you know how they absolutely destroy your natural nails underneath – if you’ve avoided acrylic nail manicures, I will try to describe without grossing you out: you know those thin, flimsy, plastic cutting boards? Like those, but thinner. And rippable.

Blech, totally grossed myself out. Sorry, everyone.

Anyway, rewind to being excited that you get nine of something fancy for $20 plus free shipping — Zoya has a new line of nail treatment colors (explained in a minute) called The Naked Manicure which consists of five tinted shades, one natural white, one base, and two top coats with different finishes.

Before you wonder why you’re getting a $96 value for only $20, it’s because you’re not. This is the mini set – so you’re only getting a $35 value for $20. (Boo hoo, so sad!) Each bottle is about half the size of a regular bottle (0.25oz). This is still a really good amount of product! And if you find two or three that you like, you can invest in the full size versions a la carte from Zoya.com.

Zoya Naked Manicure Mini Pro Set - Wedding Beauty

Just the other day I was complaining about the lack of interesting beauty ideas during NYFW. It seemed like every single runway had a barely-there beauty look and a barren, glossy nail. We get it – your nails woke up like this and they just happen to look perfect. Excuse me while I chew off my cuticles.

It wasn’t until I learned about Zoya’s Naked Manicure that I really understood that, actually, no one has amazing woke up like this nails, but the Naked Manicure is a system that basically BB Creams your nails.

Much like the coveted NYX Lip Lingerie, these shades are barely different from the natural color of a nail bed. Think of it like a concealer palette for your nails: there are shades to cancel out discoloration, warm up skin tones, and brighten dull tones on naked nails.

Zoya Naked Manicure Mini Pro Set

Photo: Beautezine

Another layer (NAIL HUMOR) of functionality lay in the Naked Manicure’s reliance upon mixing. Yes, alchemy nail art! I mean, “nail art” if you consider a clean window to be artistic. Maybe you do. That’s just peachy.

Speaking of peachy, let’s take a look at each of these… “colors?”

Naked Base: A vitamin-rich base coat that claims to increases nail respiration and overall health
Pink Perfector: Adds a nice glow and enhances natural skin color
Buff Perfector: Adds warmth to natural skin tone
Lavender Perfector: Adds a cool tone and neutralizes any yellowing or discoloration
Nude Perfector: As far as neutrals go, this is as basic and natural as you can get with nail polish on
Mauve Perfector: Deepens the color of nail beds, great for deeper skin tones
Satin Seal: Adds a nice, longwear seal with a finish between matte and glossy
Glossy Seal: Adds some shine, bitch! (I’m sorry.)

The intention is to mix and match these shades to enhance and perfect your natural nails. First, you prime your nails with the nutritious base coat. Add, say, a coat of pink and a coat of buff polish – whatever compliments your skin or gives you the look you want. Then, seal it off with a natural-looking satin top coat or a shiny, finished glossy top coat.

Here’s a video by someone clearly reading a script who can explain the process in Zoya-sanctioned terms:

In short, brides are going to freak out over the Naked Manicure. Brides looooove a simple, minimalist beauty routine on their day of ritual deflowering. This is definitely going to be at the top of the wedding beauty must-have list!

To get the whole mini-sized set for $20 plus free shipping, enter the code MPRO at checkout when purchasing The Naked Manicure from Zoya.com!

The code is good through 2/29/2016 at 11:59pm.

Probably watching Netflix.