While browsing through my typical repertoire of “I can’t buy anything here” stores, I came upon 80sPurple and wondered if it belonged with such stores as Saks, Neiman Marcus and *cough* Nordstrom (What? I’m actually broke and beautiful, ok? I can’t buy socks.) because, well, it’s not… completely… unattainable.

I realized this after coming across at least 5 garments that were a) visually stimulating, b) body-covering, and c) under $30. Not only that, but they were more appealing than the more expensive name brand items I saw at my Unattainable Stores (caps for honor, and to shake the fear of markup into you).

So I have developed an 80sPerfect list that I might have to make into a regular feature because, damn, they can do no wrong.

The Perfect Blazer

Purple Label Ray Leather Sleeve Blazer $42 (was $70)

Not gross-1983-leather-blazer (I don’t care if it’s trendy, that sh#@ is ugly.), but nice blazer with interesting faux leather details. I love, love, love (Gaga?) the closure in the front. So classy.

The Perfect Dressy Shorts

Aryn K Dress-like Shorts $47.20 (were $59)

I have been scouring the ‘net and otherwise for dressy shorts for almost a year. I have looked everywhere, for every color, every material, and it wasn’t until now that I’ve found anything remotely swoon-worthy. These are so lovely. I could envision them with opaque tights, bare legs, textured tights… Ohh, they are so good. (And so cheap!)

The Perfect Miniskirt

Fremont Jacqueline Skirt $94.80 (was $158)

I’m not one for gallivanting about in the snow wearing a miniskirt… Or anything leg-bearing, really. But if I had this in my closet, I just might. Plus, I’m slowly dying over the high waist with the dip in the front. Talk about whittling down your waist to just about nothing! ANYONE will have crazy curves in this thing. (Not like I need to say it, but: pockets.)

The Perfect Romper?!

Insight Bo-Peep Jumpsuit $29 (was $58)

Psh, yeah, I said it. The perfect romper. And the perfect romper happens to be black & white striped, a la Nubby. Can’t you just picture having a very graphic day at the beach? A big, floppy white sunhat, painfully red lips, big ol’ Jackie O. sunglasses, and a beverage with a straw? See, now you want it as badly as I do.
Horrible news: 80sPurple has run out of this piece. Please send them love letter with a post script begging them to restock. PLEASE. RE-READ THAT PARAGRAPH. I NEED THIS.

The Perfect Party Dress

Jenny Han Pleated Deep V Dress $96.80 (was $242)

I’ve decided that the only parties I really get excited to attend are a la Ke$ha, or a la broke-ass Daddy Warbucks (i.e. people dress fancy in their best duds, but drink PBR and Martinelli’s all night). This would be the perfect dress for either, I’d say. I love the yellow, and I extra love the model’s blunt bangs and smaller chest with this dress. It just looks good. Plus, you guys know how I feel about Jenny Han.

The Perfect Date Dress

Converse by John Varvatos Geometric Jcqrd Lace Dress $98 (was $245)

YES, this is different from a party dress in many ways. There is more sensuality, more ladylike qualities, and less skin involved. Oh, and more lace, because you have to be wearing lace somewhere on a date, nawmean? Also, turquoise and brown together has been a favorite of mine for years. I actually painted my room teal and brown when I lived in Seattle! It’s just so classy and sexy. (This is a total Jen dress, by the way.)

The Perfect Basic Dress

WeSC Marna Long Top $48 (was $97)

I really mean this one. I saw this dress and did one of those movie gasps where you inhale so much air that you start to cough… This could be layered, it could be… Well, you’d really better layer it. Unless you are a member of the smaller-breasted community who can get away with just rocking a bandeau under there (jealous, btw). I would probably do illegal things to get this dress. It’s amazing.

What are you uncomfortably obsessing over lately?