I have been on the hunt for a pair of leopard shoes* for months. (* Leopard shoes that I won’t regret buying in a year. This is difficult.) I think the above booties on Mary-Kate Olsen would fall nicely into my plans, were they not on her prosperous feet. (I think they’re these?) Why is leopard print perfection so hard to find?! The thing about looking for super-classic pieces is that you can’t get to trend-laden – if it has to last more than a year or so, you’re going to want to ditch the animal print, fringed handbag with buckles. Sorry.

Classic Leopard Print Shoes (Broke-Ass Version)

I vacillate about whether or not a bootie would be something I’d want to wear forever, or if maybe just a pump is what I need… And that doesn’t even take into account my love for flats! 

MY GUIDE FOR BUYING LEOPARD PRINT SHOES

If I were you…

• I would go for a more natural-looking leopard print (instead of super-yellow or blue or pink leopard) in order to stay as far away from trends as possible while still finding something really stylish.
• I would go for an almond toe or a pointed toe as round toe can look a little juvenile, and we’re definitely going for chic and timeless.
• As far as the heel – mid-level to high heel and stay away from wedges! They’re fine if you’re looking for something awesome and fun for now, but for long-term, stick to classic heels.

BOOTS

A good leopard boot is hard to find – it’s all too common for animal print boots to slip into Pretty Woman territory… Fortunately, the most perfect ankle boot is here, and it’s under $100:

Antonio Melani Dante Boots | $99.99

…Okay, just barely under $100 – but it’s still better than those $750 boots that Mary-Kate was wearing, am I right?

PUMPS

You can go really right, or really, really wrong when it comes to picking a leopard print pump… How? Hypnosis. There are so freaking many of them that you’ll undoubtedly get a bit dizzy, thus raising the chance that you’ll come home with a vagina shoe.

I highly suggest following the same guidelines for all pumps… I’m torn on sandals, though. Have leopard-print, strappy sandals become stable enough to be considered a “classic?” What do you think?

Max Studio Marais Pump | $89.95

These are the perfect, basic pumps, I think. Realistic color, and I prefer the synthetic “hair” feeling on leopard print, because it’s gross and I guess I like that or something.

Jubilee Leopard Mary Jane | $100

Enhanced appeal: More walkable, and the added kitsch of a mary jane.

Annnd… a ballsy submission:

Franco Sarto Vaunt Platform | $49.99

Are they timeless enough for this post? Debatable, but I love the shape, and I’d wear them right now. Basically, the inclusion of these sandals hinges on I WANT THEM.

FLATS

Easiest ever. There are so many “classic” flat styles that look good with leopard print all over them, it’s crazy.

Kelsi Dagger Jordi Flats | $99

I’ve been searching for the perfect pair of patent-cap-toe, leopard print flats for months. These are pretty perfect, but – again with the creepiness – I wish it was that synthetic fur stuff!

ASOS Lolita Metal Bow Flats | $71.88

I love the brightness of this print. The metal bow – ehhh, I know. It errs on the trendy side, but I dig it. Plays well with my bio-mechanical themed fantasies. (That sounded creepy again – what is with this post & my creepiness?)

Chaufer Flat | $79.95

I know they’re popular right now, guys, but… I don’t know. I just don’t know.

Thoughts?