If you can’t wait until Black Friday to start saving money on holiday gifts selfish purchases because omg sales, Steve Madden has begun the process early.

Twenty-five percent off and free shipping sounds like a pretty sweet deal…but then I got to the disclaimers (emphasis mine):

*Offer valid Tuesday November 22nd through Monday November 28th at 11:59pm EST on SteveMadden.com only. Take 25% off your purchase plus free shipping. Enter the promotional code TURKEY at checkout. Certain EXCLUSIONS apply and clearance and women’s preorders are excluded from this promotion. Free Shipping offer does not apply to clearance items or gift cards. Free Shipping promotions are only valid within the 48 contiguous U.S. states. Promotions are not valid for cash or cash equivalent and cannot be applied to previous purchases nor combined with any other offers or discounts including Steve Madden employee discount. Qualifying amount applies to merchandise only, excluding Gift Cards purchased, packaging, applicable taxes and shipping and handling charges. Returns and exchanges are subject to Steve Madden’s return policy. Offer is non-transferable. Steve Madden has the right to cancel this promotion at any time. ITEMS EXCLUDED FROM SALE: ACHILEES, ALTETUDE, ANGELS, ARMORYY, BABYLONN, BADGESS, BANDDIT, BANNNER, BEAMINNG, BETHANYY, BIGTYME, BLAAYNE, BRAVVVO, CABLEE, CANDENCE, CARLYN, CATEPULT, CENTROO, CHAUFER, CHELLAA, COASSTT, COMEPETE, CROQUET, CROQUETL, DEJAVU, DEVIAATE, DONNICA, DYSTANCE, ELTON-E, ELTONN, EMMITT, FAIRPORT, FORESTR, FRENZII, GIADA, GLAARE, HAZELE, INTYCE, JOLIETT, KENNYYA, KONFETTI, LINDLEY, LONESTAR, MADEE-R, MADEE-S, MANNGO, MASQRAID, MELTER, MERTIE, ML-FRENZ, MONROEE, NELEY, NOAHH, NORDIK, OAKLEE, OTTOWA, PAMMYY, PANNACHE, PISSTOLL, PITA, P-LAKKE, POPULER, PREMA, RASCAL-S, REGGO, RIDDLLE, ROSALE, RUCKUSS, SCRRIBLE, SERENITE, SHARRYY, SONNYA, SPINNNER, SWIVVEL, SYMON-G, TBLANKET, TEAPEA, THERMAL, THISTLE, TOSCANY, TRAISIE, TRISTAA, TROOPA, TSUNAMI, VENIICEE, WAADE, WAAVES, WALLTZ, WINONNA, WYLIEE. Please also refer to the Promotion Rules page in the Customer Support section for the above exclusion list.

Hmmm.

The question is whether all of those excluded items are clearance and preorders, or in addition to the clearance and preorders. Rather than create utterly painful run-down (and I tried), here’s a list of the shoes in the above disclaimer that are pre-order, on clearance, or excluded from the sale just for the fuck of it:

Pre-Order: BABYLONN, BIGTYME, BLAAYNE, BRAVVVO, CARLYN, CENTROO, CHELLAA, COMEPETE, DEVIAATE, DONNICA, DYSTANCE, FORESTR, GIADA, JOLIETT, KONFETTI, LONESTAR, NORDIK, OTTOWA, PREMA, RASCAL-S, RIDDLLE, SCRRIBLE, SHARRYY, SPINNNER, TOSCANY, TRISTAA, WALLTZ. 27

Clearance: None of ’em. I guess they just assume you’ll figure it out.

Just for the Fuck of It: ACHILEES, ALTETUDE, ANGELS, ARMORYY, BADGESS, BANDDIT, BANNNER, BEAMINNG, BETHANYY, CABLEE, CANDENCE, CATEPULT, CHAUFER, COASSTT, CROQUET, CROQUETL, DEJAVU, ELTON-E, ELTONN, EMMITT, FAIRPORT, FRENZII, GLAARE, HAZELE, INTYCE, KENNYYA, LINDLEY, MADEE-R, MADEE-S, MANNGO, MASQRAID, MELTER, MERTIE, ML-FRENZ, MONROEE, NELEY, NOAHH, OAKLEE, PAMMYY, PANNACHE, PISSTOLL, PITA, P-LAKKE, POPULER, REGGO, ROSALE, RUCKUSS, SERENITE, SONNYA, SWIVVEL, SYMON-G, TBLANKET, TEAPEA, THERMAL, THISTLE, TRAISIE, TROOPA, TSUNAMI, VENIICEE, WAADE, WAAVES, WINONNA, WYLIEE.

Twenty-seven pre-order items, sixty-three items on the list for no reason. Here’s the funny bit: those bold names in the “Just for the Fuck of It” category are eight of the top ten best sellers at SteveMadden.com.

It’s kind of irritating.

Still, a number of the not-on-sale shoes aren’t ones I want anyway. Have you seen the Armoryy?

It’s a veritable fringe-gasm that is not part of the sale and is suggested with “leather leggings and an oversized flannel.”

“You’ll be armed and ready for just about anything with these sweet tribal kicks! Play up your native nature with our ARMORYY indian booties this season!”

I…I can’t. I just can’t.

Because I love you, though, I will show you some shoes I do want that are on sale.

Perrry in Taupe: $179.95 $134.96 plus free shipping

The stone-blush-neutral color situation going on her is awesome, and I can’t resist a stacked wooden heel.

Menswear trend, please never leave.

Cathi: $179.95 On sale for $129.98 $97.49

The mellow version of the colorblock trend Lindsay recently talked about. And it was on sale before the sale, so it’s even cheaper!

Graanie: $129.95 $97.46

I have wanted these forever. I don’t know how long forever is, but I think it was around the time I saw a pair like these on a really well-dressed woman at the bus stop. So, like, six months.

Which is forever.

Tibett in Taupe: $169.95 $127.46

Screw forever. These. Only these. (I love the buckles and the gentle slope of the wedge!)

Minkee: $149.95 $112.46

A little leather, a little fur. Love it.

Annnie-L: $149.95 $112.46

These are for Lindsay. Every time she sees them at Marshalls she swoons, and for good reason. I’m pretty damned certain they’re cheaper at Marshalls even with this discount, so, um, if you have a Marshalls near you don’t buy them from SteveMadden.com. (Sorry, SM.)

What do you think of these exclusion-laced sales? Are they worth the potential disappointment?