This post won’t be “right” unless the word vajazzle is in it, so let’s get that out of the way right now.

The rise in number of sequined clothing has alerted me to a bit of a campy, old-lady-meets-Broadway trend among the more adventurous bunch. Sequins are on everything now. Gloves, hats, shoes, tights, bras, blouses, jackets…  The list goes on.  Several weeks ago, I found myself drowning in a sequin whirlpool, reluctant to put something quite so flash on body. Did you know that if you stare at sequins too long, they actually rearrange some nerve systems that can affect your brain functions? It’s true. Hence when, out of nowhere, I came down with a bad case of sequinophilia. My desire for shiny things has since exponentially multiplied.

Also, I’d love to know how sequins became synonymous with the holiday season. It’s because of this mystery connection that I feel like a huge cliche writing about how much I need them because it’s December. I don’t want to be a statistic. So the sequins-relating-to-holiday thing – is it because we want to be our ow Christmas tree? Is it because we all drink too much and become attention whores? Did our ancestors tie bits of metal to themselves during the winter solstice or what?

All I know is this: when I’m walking through a store and see something be-sequined to absolute death, I feel this uncontrollable need to lunge for it, grab it, and shake it in the light to verify that, yes, those are absolutely, undoubtedly sequins, and they are so pretty, and so shiny, I have to have it.

The day that science bonded with art by way of tiny, shiny, light-reflective discs will always be remembered as the day the world’s attention span decreased by 36%.