Shoe Porn: The Sandals That Weren’t

I own a dog. Every morning I take that dog outside, twice, and every morning this summer, I’ve taken him out in sandals, forgetting that the grass in my back yard is still covered in dew and that I am still highly annoyed by cold, wet feet when I haven’t had my coffee yet.

Stupid summer, faking me out.

The rest of my day is often no different: I wear my cute strappy sandals, expecting all the glory of summer, but instead I deal with drizzle, puddles, and other wet weather that essentially means I have to wear sneakers on my way to work, sandals at the office, then sneakers again for the ride home.

No offense, but I am not that dedicated to fashion. I want shoes I can wear wherever I want to wear them. Rebel, I know.

Because of that fact, and because I assume that at least some of you are tired of your feet getting soaked, whether in your barely-there thong sandals with the little jewels that keep falling off, or your three-inch stilettos that you’re totally going to get rid of in a few years because who wears stilettos anymore?, I present to you:

The Sandals That Weren’t: An Untold Story.

Part I: Peep Toes


Steven Griffin: $169.95 $71.44
58% off


Cole Haan Eve Air: $298 $178.80
40% off


Poetic Licence Dance All Night: $148.95 $71.50
52% off

Peep toes are like the sexy gods of sassy town. They’re the epitome of “classy, not trashy,” and whenever I wear a pair I feel a little smarter, like a sixties secretary who really does all the work while her sexist boss gets drunk in his office.

Maybe not the best advertisement for peep toes, but there it is.

Part II: Platforms


Frye Corrina Campus Wedge: $178 $106.80
40% off


Apepazza Ambra Blue: $120 $48.60
60% off


Type Z Prive Grey: $99 $32.20
62% off

Less classy, but still awesome, platforms literally keep you out of the rain – the stuff that’s hit the ground, anyway. I almost exclusively buy sandals with a half-inch platform, not because I want the extra height, but because they keep my toes from getting damp.

Part III: T-Straps


Via Spiga Heart: $198 $99
50% off


Poetic Licence Lovely Surprise: $79 $55.30
30% off


Joan & David Reith: $200 $140
30% off

Before I became obsessed with oxfords, I was obsessed with t-straps. They do all the right things for feet, and if you find the right pair they’re the perfect substitute for sandals. My favorites cut so low in the front that they seem like summer footwear, but I never have to paint my toenails. Win-win.

READ  Pic & Pay Giveway! My Boots from the Fall/Winter 2017 Line

Part IV: Fuck it, I’m Wearing Boots


Seychelles Hawk: $120 $60
50% off


Matisse Joplin: $164.95 $75.90
54% off


ALDO Bourgon: $110 $55
50% off

Some days you’re just not going to want to wear sandals, or sandals with platforms, or kind-of-sandals-but-not-really. On those days, I say get out the boots: you’ll end up looking a little quirky a la personal style but, more than that, you’ll be saving your feet from the cold wet ground. (I’ve chosen booties, here, but you could just as easily use last season’s riding boots or a pair of rain boots instead!)

  • Omg I want the last pair. (my birthday is next month :) )

    • There is some useful stuff on this page, thanks for sharing it.

  • Okay, so I saw the first pair… and it said Steven Griffin… and I totally read “Stewie Griffin” and thought, “Holy crap, an animated baby is designing shoes now??”

    It’s early. Don’t judge me.