2013 Grammys Recap: My Best Dressed

Normally, award season fashion is not something you see on this site. But… I got hit hard with Grammy Fever last night once the red carpet coverage started rolling. Once I saw Kimbra’s getup, I couldn’t really stop. (Which lead to me fervently live-blogging photos everyone who has ever attended the Grammys on Tumblr.)

Kimbra & Gotye
Gotye & Kimbra: “Somebody That You Used to Know” won Record of the Year, Pop Performance in Duo/Group, and Gotye’s album won Alternative Album of the Year! (Getty Images 2013)

Word is that CBS 86’d inside, outside, under- and upside-down-boob last night in favor of their “I can’t see ‘puffy skin’ without being offended” audience. Um – this is the Grammys! We don’t have special events for people like Katy Perry and Nikki Minaj so we can cover them all up in opaque, loose fabric. Thicken up, American public!

Kelly Clarkson Photobomb Ellen Degeneres
Kelly Clarkson photobombing Ellen & Portia: awesome. (Getty Images 2013)
Taylor Swift and Lena Dunham in a slide from my new comic series, Celebrities Shouting Things At Each Other. (Getty 2013)

Fortunately, the music industry wouldn’t be the music industry without a heavily influential rebellious streak, so only the boring people ditched their flashy ways for the evening’s oppressive dress code.

Here is the “memo” in full. It’s full of amazing words and phrases. I can just see Rihanna having a hearty laugh at while in her dressing room taking off her clothes to go to the Grammys:

Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible ‘puffy’ bare skin exposure.

I want whoever wrote this to write my vows for me.

Anyway, onto “clothes people actually wore”:

Ladies at the 2013 Grammys
L-R: Katy Perry with Allison Williams, Taylor Swift, Kelly Rowland, Rihanna, Florench Welch, Jennifer Lopez (Getty Images 2013)

Interesting interpretations of CBS’s rules, eh?

Jennifer Lopez, in particular, was pretty defensive about having followed the rules because “they didn’t say anything about leg!” I had a friend say that she was certain she say Rihanna’s nipple, but I’m still waiting on “pics or it didn’t happen.” Taylor Swift wore a dress and everyone was there. (Bored.) Kelly Rowland technically followed the rules and even called her dress “comfortable.” My favorite description of Florence Welch‘s dress so far has been “Reptar Chic.Katy Perry just plain ol’ didn’t give a @#^!.

For me, I think my favorite is a three-way tie between Katy Perry, Rihanna, and Florence Welch with Florence just a hair in the lead.

Check out what other stars were wearing in the 2013 Grammy gallery:

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Who is your best dressed? Worst?