Neutral Patterned Shoes aka Unicorns [Under $25]

This morning’s monday wedgie got me thinking about neutral shoes, and all of their imminent glory. They are truly flawless – logically, philosophically, and if you can find a good pair on sale, financially.

I could snap up neutral shoes like those wedges all day long, but when it comes down to it… Well, I feel left out of the Cool Kids Club because I can’t ever find any patterned shoes that I’d be willing to invest in. They’re either too bright or too random or not versatile enough – nothing fits just right. (And for my money, it needs t be just. right.) It was only this morning that it occurred to me: the answer is neutral.

Neutral patterns make so much more sense than colorful and bright patterns when it comes to larger investments, like shoes! I don’t want to pay a big wad of cash for something I’m not going to want to wear in six months, you know? Shoes are something I don’t like to mess around with. They’re more expensive than a sweater, and while you wear a sweater a few times per week, you wear shoes every day. Plus, you don’t walk on your sweaters all day long. At least a neutral shoe could be used to compliment a fun, new trend in the future, even if this “patterned shoe” business doesn’t become a classic.

Basically, my worst nightmare is waking up to find that I only have 4″ neon, chevron-patterned boots in my closet.

Much like the zombie apocalypse, such an event isn’t guaranteed to happen or proven to even be possible, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to be ready for it. 

So here are some neutral patterns that I predict will be just as wearable in a year as they are today. Oh, and did I mention that these just so happen to be under $25?

dimmi Zen Flats

dimmi Zen Flats, $25

Lumiani Annora Wedges

Lumiani Annora Wedges, $20.70

Boot-ega Braid Bootie

Boot-ega Braid Bootie, $19.99

AEO Slip on Espedrilles

American Eagle Outfitters Slip-on Espadrilles, $24.99

Style&Co Archie Wedges

Style&co. Archie Wedges, $20.65


Elle Snake Print Ankle Boots, $17.99

A Note about a Famous Neutral: Leopard Print

Another fabulous neutral pattern is leopard print. We’ve talked about the timelessness of leopard print and even wrote a Guide to Leopard Print Shoes in the past! It’s a widely accessible style, as they’re pretty much a staple among shoe brands. Everyone has a leopard flat and a gaudy heel, right? No? Well, they do at Marshalls so I don’t know what to tell you. Go to Marshalls.

 What would you pair a neutral, patterned shoe with? I’m still fixated on the tuxedo pants I mentioned this morning. So that’s my answer.

…Shut up, you’re not creative!

Probably watching Netflix.