It’s That Time Again: Butt-Covering Winter Jackets

I don’t know what the fashion industry has against warm lower backs, but so many of the cute jackets I see around this seasonally transitional time of year stop just short of covering my coldest curve: my ass.

Despite my pizza-based plan to keep my butt insulated against the cold, it just doesn’t do the trick once the season turns rainy & frigid.  The worst is when I sit on something mildly damp and become instantly frozen! Nothing feels worse than wet, cold jeans against and already cold butt. Nothing.

Having a winter coat that’s long enough to be sat upon is crucial for me. You at least need a warm coat that covers up your lower back when you’re climbing on hay bails or on a bench during a rainy football game. There are some coats out there, though, that seem to think it should cost $300 to cover your butt in coat. That’s ridiculous, and to prove it, I have a whole bunch of cute winter coats for under $100.

Rachel Roy Fur Lined Coat

Rachel by Rachel Roy Fur Trim Coat, $280 $99.97 at Nordstrom Rack

Let’s tear the sticker shock bandaid off by starting with the most expensive coat in the post. Clearly, it’s gorgeous (I’m a sucker for a fur trim hood) and it has with a 60% wool shell, so you know it’s actually going to keep you warm. I also like the standing collar insert that sewn in to the coat. Wide hoods are so glamorous and Kim Basinger in LA Confidential but they can leave necks and collarbones totally open to frostbite. This built-in collar is a good solution! Available in green or black, in sizes XS-XL.

Maralyn and Me Plaid Double Breasted Peacoat

Maralyn & Me Plaid Double Breasted Peacoat, $99.50 $59.99 at Macy’s

Here’s a coat for people who like plaid, but don’t want to be asked which Hogwarts House they’re representing. (No offense, Potterphiles, but I just really like maroon and gold together, ok?) This coat isn’t the warmest coat on the list, but it does have one of the cutest shapes, if you ask me. I am a sucker for double-breasted peacoats, and maybe it’s just those shoes and the good denim, but I am kind of really liking this black and blue plaid. Available in blue plaid, or black, in sizes XS-XXL.

Vince Camuto Contrast Piping Trench Coat

Vince Camuto Contrast Piping Trench Coat, $139 $84.99 at 6pm

The red contrast piping is definitely my favorite feature of this trench coat, second place going to the moto-style side zipper that runs down the front of the coat. My favorite zippers, though, are the ones on the sleeves. The hood is detachable for those of you who love windswept hair. Available in sizes from XS-XL, except size Small.

Columbia Sportswear Weekend Wanderer Shell Coat

Columbia Weekend Wanderer Long Shell Jacket, $150 $74.95 at Sierra Trading Post

Here’s something for the commuters: a real rain shell from an actual outdoor equipment company. It’ll keep you dry in everything that isn’t a straight up downpour, and it’s got a good number of pockets for storage. One of the pockets doubles as an audio port and includes a spot for your headphones to go beneath the coat and into your ears. This jacket also functions as a way more good-looking than our youth windbreaker. Take that, morning commute! Available in black only, sizes XS-XL.

Probably watching Netflix.