TMI Tuesday: Fake’n’Bake?

We allllllll know how pale I am. Just click the outfit button at the top – white girl is white.

So tell me, all of you olive-skinned-and-darker girls… What’s it like to get a tan? I wouldn’t know, of course, because I’ve never gotten one. Ever. I’ve never had a tan. This sensuous mix of Cajun and Irish skin goes from white to red in only a matter of minutes! Literally just set it and forget it. (Don’t do that, actually, because that shit is painful.)

Please see “computer programming” for an accurate depiction of my skin tone.

I have wondered what I’d look like with a tan. Whether or not that whole “look healthier/thinner/more awesome? when you’re tan” thing is truth or an urban legend. My only option if I were to find out, though, would be to fake it. I mean, sure, I could throw myself into photoshop and adjust all the levels to point to “St. Tropez,” but that takes, like, work and stuff, so no thank you.

Then there’s the risk of becoming a tanorexic were I able to tan, and found that I enjoyed it. Do I really want to partake in a look that has its own “-exic?” I’m unsure. I have so many feelings, guys. So many feelings.

I’ve been musing on the FB page and Twitter about trying out some tanning goop just to see what it was like. I couldn’t pull off a deep, beach-all-summer look – this I know. I wouldn’t mind giving a light tan a go, though. That being said, I ADORE BEING PALE. I love it! I have no issues with how translucent my skin is, at all, and wouldn’t [permanently] trade it for the world. Curiosity, though, tanned the cat, so how can you blame me?

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But I know nothing! Do I spray? Do I gel? Do I cream? Do I do it everywhere? Do I do it over a bathing suit? Do I do my pits? My face? My feet?

What should I do? Recommend products, share your experience, or tell me off in the comments!

Probably watching Netflix.

10 thoughts on “TMI Tuesday: Fake’n’Bake?

  • June 21, 2011 at 10:28 am

    I can tan, have tanned, and don’t plan to tan again.
    Like you, I’m embracing the pale because I don’t want to look like a saddle when I’m older. When I was younger though, omg I got brown. My mom is a pale ginger w/ freckles but my dad is Eastern European and super dark so, I have freckles but tan like whoa. I’ve barely been outside and my arms are already getting dark.
    I did tanning beds a few times but they’re terrible for you. First time as an adult I got burned.
    I used to use fake tanning lotion on my legs (for wearing skirts) but it was too much maintenance. You have to scrub like mad beforehand, lotion up your ankles, toes, knees, etc w/ regular lotion, put on the fake tan stuff then pat around your wrinkly spots – otherwise you have darker ares.
    Banana Boat was always my fave but there are a bunch more out there now.

  • June 21, 2011 at 10:55 am

    I have tanned. It was for Prom, and it was a good experience. I sat in a bed for 10 min, and then did Mystic Tanning. It looked good! I wasn’t orange at all…but we also knew the people who owned the tanning salon, and they took care to keep their Mystic machines clean. The machines at the health clubs are a different story.

    I was really tan as a kid, but mostly because I spent a ton of time outside. Now I will burn first and tan later. I’m pretty pale, but it suits me alright. I went to Florida for 5 days recently, and thanks to my SPF 50 sun block, I got just a tiny bit of color and my freckles show a little more. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    • June 21, 2011 at 12:37 pm

      I love when the freckles show more – I wish there was “freckle enhancing organic lotion” or something!

      • June 22, 2011 at 12:39 am

        Freckle-enhancing lotion is SUCH a good idea. I even googled it (but only found freckle-reducing lotion. What.).

  • June 21, 2011 at 2:54 pm

    I’m still LOLing over the computer programming tan. xD IT’s so truuuuuue. I’ve yet to be matched at the mac counter (lazyness) but based on charts, I’d be somewhere between NW 35 and NW 40. I’ve honestly always envied girls with pale skin and freckles! (I have some facial freckles, but their color is only slightly off from my regular skin so they’re gone after foundation.) I think, for the first time tanner a spray tan should be done. Or, i’ve read several good reviews on the Jergens natural glows. One of them is a strong one that starts you off and the other is a ‘gradual tanner’ that can be used to maintain.

  • June 21, 2011 at 7:32 pm

    When I look in the mirror and think “holy shit I’m pale,” I use banana boat summer color in deep dark. You have to get the deep dark one because it’s the only one that makes you brown instead of orange. It’s at Walmart for pretty cheap, and if you’re really gung-ho there are multi packs on Amazon!

  • June 21, 2011 at 9:00 pm

    I am also a “powder”, as only my best friends can call me….

    I use L’oreal Sublime Bronze One Day Tinted Gel, and I love it! I don’t have to worry about messing up and being stuck until it wears off, and it moisturizes nicely. Also, it is best to use one of those mitts to apply, then you don’t have to worry about the palms! I got mine for a few bucks from Ulta.

  • June 22, 2011 at 1:42 am

    I can tan, but I’m naturally Irish pale. I’m embracing my pale because I’d like to keep my skin looking young for many years – particularly on my face. I used to forget sunscreen all the time during marching band in high school and I would get so tan and burn a lot of times too. I’m trying to make up for those days by being vigilant with my sunscreen now and staying out of the sun! If I want a tan I’ll fake it. Usually I’m just fine with my natural pale!

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